Why I Can't
by Define Me
Summary: We all know that Shen is kind of messed up. But why? Short summary is short. Builds suspense:b
1. First Born Curse

**Okay, new story because I'm seriously bored. And because I just love Shen and the Soothsayer3 I seriously need to buy KFP2, I'm losing my freakin mind. Okay, here it is, sorry if it's kinda bad or if I don't get a couple facts right, but who is really going to bite my ass because I'm not being technically correct?**

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After months of waiting, it finally happened. The Soothsayer waited nervously outside the door where, hopefully, Gongmen City's next official heir was waiting for her attention. She strained her hearing, wanting so much to hear the slightest sound from the newborn. But, instead, she heard only frantic calls and occasional bangs. Yes, the Soothsayer was nervous, but only because she had overheard that the new Prince had been born with a still heart...

The Soothsayer had told her Lord and Lady that their chances of having a healthy child were terribly thin. But, they had insisted, for their family line had to continue.

"Soothsayer!", she heard her Lady call. Soothsayer jumped, and hurried into the hot room, where she found a horrified expression cast upon her Lord and Lady's features, they were staring at a small juble of blankets in a woven basket near the door.

"Soothsayer...Tell me...What..What is this?", Lady Mei, asked her quietly, bring a wing up to point at the blankets.

The Soothsayer turned to look questioningly at the bundle, and causiously drew closer. When she came to look down upon it, she saw unhappy, flialing movement underneath the pile of cloth. She brought a hoof over the creature and slowly picked the blankets off of it, fear growing. She wondered what could be wrong with the Prince, and what she would find, when she was met by curious, light Ruby eyes against pitch white feathers, her eyes widened and she couldn't hide her suprise. A _white _peacock? In all of her years as a Soothsayer, she had never seen something like this... She lowered her head down to the newborn and gave his small head a sniff, he smelled something between honey and roses, but she couldn't quite place it.

"Tell us...What..is _wrong_ is him?", Lord Xin, looked at the child in slight disgust

"Well, for one, there were two heavy blankets planted on the poor thing. Quite a good way to smother him, my Lord..", the Soothsayer gave a disapproving look, "..and there is nothing wrong with him, other than a few health issues, I would say he's fine."

"Fine? Are we seeing the same child, Soothsayer?", he argued

"My Lord. The child I see is one of the whitest snow and the calmest breeze. I have yet to see any newborn who has _not _cried once since birth.", she says

"May I see him?", Lady Mei asked.

"Why, of course, my Lady. He _is _yours.", The Soothsayer gently scooped up the bundle and walked over to the queen. Lady Mei looked at her child softly and with a loving gaze, holding him with the atmost consideration and care.

"Oh my...Hello there, little one, I'm your mommy...", the queen brought a single feather to pet her sons head, drawing the pale feather there back and forth. The child closed his small eyes in content. The Soothsayer looked at the sight tenderly, remembering her younger years in the time _she _was expecting. The Soothsayer saddened at the memory of knowing that her child did not survive its first night of life. She never once left its side, and she watched as each hour passed and her little joy made less and less effort to breathe, until it finally stopped. She brought her attention back to the family of peacocks in front of her.

"Oh, he's precious. Xin, would you like to hold him?", Lady Mei held up the child slightly at his father. Xin stared blankly at the child.

"No. I would not."

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**Okay, sorry it's so short, Idk why only the first chapter in my stories are the shortest. Anyway, please review and tell me whether or not to continue. I'll probably continue anyway, sinse I've already started, but you know how confidence is:)**


	2. What Was Never Told

**Okay, next chap that will hopefully be longer than 700 words...**

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Lady Mei stared, wide eyed at her husband.

"What?"

"I said no."

"W-why? He's the sweetest thing, Xin, AND he's of your own flesh and blood!", she raged

"Own flesh and blood? Tell me, Mei, and be honest, does _that", _he pointed at the child in his wifes wings, "Look _anything _at all like us? Like normal peacocks?"

Lady Mei was silent. It was true, their child beared little to no resemblance to them. To _any _peacock she had ever encountered. But, even so, she stood her ground,

"His differences only make him more unique and therefore should make him mean even more to us! You will not abandon your own offspring because of a few differences, or so help me, Xin!", she screamed, making the peachick look up at her in awe.

Lord Xin glared at his wife for a moment, then turned his icy stare on his chick, in return, recieving a laugh from the child. Was his wife serious? She wanted to keep this..._thing? _Xin fought the urge to rip the chick out of it mothers arms and drown it, as was the way to deal with unwanted infants, and instead, turned and stormed out of the room, leaving the staff staring. Not even a moment passed when the queen burst into tears,

"Oh, Soothsayer, what am I to do? I thought Xin would be happy, and now he has rejected his own chick!", she turned her head to the side as to not let her heavy tears fall upon her baby. The Soothsayer looked at Mei sadly,

"Now, now, child, please. Lord Xin will come around, he just needs time." she said

"And what if he doesn't? What if he tries to hurt our chick?", the queen spat angrily

"I can assure you, that _will _not happen. If it makes you feel any better, my Lady, I can keep the chick in my care for now.", the Soothsayer offered with open hooves. Lady Mei looked at her as if she were a gift from heaven,

"Wha..Really, Soothsayer? You would do that?"

"Well, of course, my Lady. After all, it _is _my job to look after him and to serve you."

"Oh, thank you! Soothsayer, how can I repay you for this?", the queen asked

"I do this out of my own free will, my Lady. For _that _is my reward.", The Soothsayer took the child from Mei and held him in her arms comfortably, listening to his gentle coos.

"That reminds me, m'Lady..."

Mei looked back at her with a questioning gaze

"What shall we call this chick?"

Mei's look was of embarrassment and shame. How could she have forgotten to name her own chick? The pondered for a few moments, searching through a great list of names she had remembered, then it came to her,

"Shen", she said softly

"Shen, m'Lady?"

"Yes, meaning 'Aware, conscious'"

The Soothsayer looked down at the bundle in her arms, fitting the name to his pale, smiling face.

"Shen is a lovely name, my Lady. Perfect.", The Soothsayer smiled, turning to leave, "Get some rest, I'll be back in the morning to see how you're doing"

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Later on that night, the Soothsayer had layed Shen down on a soft mat. Obviously not knowing what to do with the child. He looked about the room curiously and without pause. The Soothsayer smiled at his innocent behavior, until she got an idea.

"Say, little one, why don't a give you a fortune telling?", she asked and the child looked her straight in the eyes and laughed. She grabbed her bowl, and some scissors, cutting off a small piece of the baby's feather and clothing. Dropping them into the bowl.

The soothsaying had begun smoothly, with Shen laughing at the bright, flowing colors he saw streaming through the air. The Soothsayer smiled at the sound and looked down at the child as he lay on his back, she looked at him through the smoke, and froze at what she saw. The outside of the chick was fine, but she looked at the small, black dot in the center of him, she moved to look at him around the smoke, only to see him gazing at her curiously, she had gone back to her original position, when she had noticed the the dot had grown into a small blotch, as it seemed to be moving around, like steam inside a jar. Fearing what it might be, she put away her materials and quickly called in some nurses to look the chick over, very test coming back saying he was as healthy as he could be. The Soothsayer shook her head, it certainly must have just been an illusion, maybe some reflection shining in through the smoke, but no matter how many sweet, comforting words she spoke to herself, the worried lump in her soul remained.

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"Shen! For heavens sake, Shen, slow down!", the Soothsayer yelled to a young and running Shen. Even at 3 years old, Shen never became tired, except for the occasions in which he was ill. She treaded her way up the large, grassy field. Making her way to her chick as he watched her approach. They had come to the highest point in which to watch the mornings firework presentation. The presentation continued to be held on the 2nd of each and every April morning, in honor of Gongmen City being founded. The Soothsayer sat heavily on the grassy, and watched as her chick glanced around several times behind them, and she new that he was waiting for his parents to arrive, which they never would.

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**And now I'm all out of juice to continue. Tommorrow, after school I should have some more ideas, though I have one now, but that is for the next chap;) Anyway, I might begin writing the 3rd chapter sometime tonight, even, if I have some ideas, but idk.**


	3. Unspeakable Crimes

**OMG, IM SO BORED! I have no other choice, but to write more. Thank you to all the reviews so far, and yeah, I guess I'm the multiple chapter a day kind of fanfic writer:) But, BEWARE! THIS CHAP IS A LITTLE BIT(pfft) CRUEL, SO DON'T HATE ME:B**

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After the fireworks presentation, Shen's father had ordered him into the throne room. Xin still had a passionate dislike for his sons appearance, it was quite embarrassing to be seen with, the Mei had demanded he spend time with the chick. He had an important meeting today, and he had decided to sit his son beside him. Shen walked hesitantly into the throne room, not looking at his father, for he knew he disliked him. The child felt his eyes widen and his fragile heart beat faster as he heard the adult peacock make his way towards him. Xin circled around the chick, taking in his appearance, before making his way back to his thrown,

"Now, all I want you to do is sit right here", he pointed to the spot on the ground at the side of the thrown," and stay quiet. These are very important people and I do not want hear anymore out of them than I'm going to about you. Understood?", he looked at his son bitterly as he nodded and made his way to the spot near the thrown. They sat there in silence until Lord Tong Zhi Zhe, of the nearest neighboring city, stepped in and shook "hands" with Xin, after exchanging greetings, Zhe turned his gaze onto Shen, to which the peachick lowered his head and stared at the ground, to which Xin growled,

"It's quite rude _not _to address a superior,_ Shen", _he hissed out his name. Shen looked up to Zhe and gave him a respective, seated bow in greeting, to which the Lord returned.

"Now, Xin, I have come to speak with you about weapon production, as I mentioned.", Lord Zhe began

"Oh, yes, the whole 'shortage' issue"

"Mmm, yes quite. Now, I can only assume that it's in your best interest if we traded resources in case of any attack on either of our cities."

"Really? And this probable attack would come from where, exactly?

Lord Zhe opened his beak to reply, when he was cut off,

"What about Tai La?", Shen asked, he looked to his father only to be handed an icy look. Xin, attempting to keep his temper in check, said,

"What about Tai La, _Shen? _Are you suggesting an attack from them?", Shen nodded slowly

"And for what reason would they dare?", Xin was aware of his strong, harsh tone, but that did not stop him. He had told the boy to keep silent through the entire meeting, and he goes and does _this? _Oh, he would teach him...

"Well...why else do people try to invade each other?"

"Recources, power, anything is possible with people nowadays, Xin. Your boy has quite the talent for making debates, I should say", Lord Zhe smiled

"Yes...It seems he _does._", Xin glared down at the boy, causing him to shrink back.

"Fine. Resource trade granted. Shall we begin, say, tomorrow?" Xin stood and walked up to Zhe to bear farewells.

"That would be lovely.", Zhe bowed to the peacocks and gracefully strode out of the room. The door closed with a loud _thud _then the entire room was silent. Shen stared at his fathers figure standing in the middle of the room unmoving. Shen finally built up the courage to get up and walk towards his father, once there lightly tugging on his sleeve, he opened his small beak to speak, when suddenly, his fathers wing came around to slap him hard across the face. Shen backed away more than a few steps as his father whirled around and revealed the long, wavy lance he's had hidden inside his robe. Shen's small eyes widened 10 fold as his father advanced on him, he back away, until he tripped over his own oversized robe, and looked up to see Xin raise the blade over his head and bring it down to catch the sleeve of Shens robe and digging it deep into the granite floors, pinning the boy to the spot.

Shen felt tears well up in his light Ruby eyes as he saw his father leave, then return with a long, think piece of metal stripping, the top and middle of it glowing an angry orange as smoke rose from its heat. He stuggled more when he realized that the metal strip was used for branding. Xin walked closer to his pinned child, eyes full of anger. As the hot metal was brought down upon him, Shen let out a horrible scream of pain.

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Shen slammed his door with a sound loud enough to wake the dead, before collapsing onto the floor in a sobbing mess. He dared not touch the burning spot on his small shoulder and feared even more what it looked like. 14 times had the branding strip been brought down on him in the _same exact place._ Shen was grateful that his robe covored the mark. After staring at the floor in shock, he covored his face with the tips of his feathers and wept uncontrollbly with fear, pain, and betrayal.

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Xin let the searing strip drop to floor in shock as he looked down at his son; his pure white feathers ruffled and tangled, Ruby eyes pained and vulnerable, and his small frame shaking like a leaf. Shen tucked his head into the sleeve of his huge robe as heavy pants mixed with sobs racked his body even more. Xin brought himself down to his knees and raised a wing in an attempt to comfort the child. Shen looked up to see a large, dark blue wing come up over his head, and used all the strangth he had left to push himself up against the lance, ripping the robe sleeve, and freeing the lance from the ground, Shen fell backwards with a shriek, but managed to push himself up and run as fast as he could carry himself out of the room, leaving Xin kneeling on the floor.

Xin stared at the direction his son went, even far after he was gone, and he even heard the slam of the childs door. _No...That..that couldn't have happened..._ he thought to himself in disbelief, _It...I..What...what have I done..., _he felt a choked sobrise up in his throat and threaten to break loose. He had hurt his child, his _only _child. There was no possible way Shen would be able to forgive him, or even _see _him again. He had maimed his baby and there was absolutely _nothing _he could do for Shen to fix it, it would always be a constant reminder...

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**I TOLD YOU GUYS! I have to say, even I started to tear up a lil' bit when I wrote this. And, also, I know for a friggin' fact that Shen's dad wouldn't do that to his kid, so yes, kind of OC, but anyway, use your imagination. Hope you guys liked it for what it was*sweatdrop***


	4. My Apologies, Dear

**Okay, last chap for tonight, I'm obviously having WAYYY too much damn fun with this fanfic, but, that's the point, right?;D**

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A few hours later, Shen had officially cried himself into a deep, soothing sleep. But, when door gently clicked open, Shen's eyes shot open and he was backed up far against his bedroom wall like a speeding bullet, he became tense and clutched at his blanket so tightly, he feared that he might break something in his wing, until the Soothsayer showed herself through the crack in the door. He was so relieved that he felt tears of impossible happiness well up in his tired eyes, and it took all his willpower not to spring from the bed and hug her for dear life. So, he settled with a wide smile as she came to sit upon the bed's edge.

"Shen, you went to bed kind of early, are you feeling okay?", she questioned

"Uh...yeah, just..just tired..is all..." he hesitated a bit

"Well, okay. I just came up to check on you..", she hopped off of the bed and headed for the open door, Shen heart then began to speed up

"Nana, wait!", the request came out much louder and pathetic then he'd meant, but it had worked all the same.

"Can...can you spend the night here? With..with me?", he looked at her causiously, as if he feared she'd say no. The Soothsayer raised an eyebrow, but still made her way back to the childs bed. Laying down with him and wrapping her arms around him, and Shen tried his very best not to make a sound when she touched the burn he'd recieved. Soon after some stories and jokes, they both fell asleep peacefully, but the Soothsayer awoke to Shen's bedroom door being opened, and seeing none other than Xin walk inside and close it gently behind him.

"Xin", she whispered into the darkness

"Shhh, don't wake him", he motioned toward the sleeping Shen, still wrapped tightly in the Soothsayers arms.

"What is it? Is Mei in trouble?"

"What? No, no, I just thought that you might want the rest of the night off, I'll stay here in your place", he said quietly

"Hmm? Why so all of a sudden?"

"Because...I..have some things I'd like to talk with him about."

The Soothsayer eyed him for a moment, before giving in.

"*sigh* Alright, if that's what you want. I suppose I'll be seeing you both tomorrow, then?"

"Of course. Goodnight, Soothsayer..."

The Soothsayer slid off the bed with amazing wieghtlessness as Xin quickly took her place. After she left to her own home, Xin glanced sadly down at the small boy in his wings, and ever so gently, he pulled up the sleeve of Shen's long robe enough to reveal a wide, black, rectangular mark in the arm; it had burned through the feathers and ashened the skin below, and even now, he could still feel the slightest amount of heat. He had been so wrong, how could he have let it get _so _far? He was an absolutely _terrible _father. He didn't deserve the sweet innocence that Shen was. He didn't deserve to even be a father. He rose his wing up to Shen small head, where some of his fanning feathers had been plucked out, along with the small scratch on his forehead. Xin leaned his head down a carefully kissed the top of his sons head. He had promised himself to make it up to Shen for _everything _he'd put him through today, though he knew that even if he spent weeks apologizing and caring for his son in other ways, Shens trust was shattered, and he knew it would take so much longer to heal it.

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There early morning sun shown in through Shens window, and Shen had awoken and expected to see a brown and gray hoof around him, and he froze when he saw a large blue wing that covored most of his body. Shens mind raced at this point. _Wait...What..no...Soothsayer..She was...She wouldn't.._

"Leave me...", the peachick whispered, still in deep thought. The whisper had awoken Xin, who looked down and smiled slightly,

"Well, hello..", he started, until he felt Shen tense up when he spoke and attempt to break out from under him. Had he not tightened his wing around the chick before he had a real chance of escape. Shen let out a horrified yell, and began to flail and push,

"Ahhh! No! Let me go! I'm sorry, I interrupted, I won't do it again!", and with that, shen brought both his wings to the side of head and closed his eyes tight, leaning his neck downward and beginning to shake.

Xin looked sympathetically at Shen, _My poor baby..., _he thought sadly as he wrapped his wings around the chick in a comfortable embrace and leaning down so that his head pushed and rested against the side of Shens,

"I'm sorry...", he whispered, but that didn't seem to ease his child.

"Shen? Oh, Shen, I didn't mean it...I'm so sorry", Xin began nudging his sons head with his own in a loving manner and became even more relieved when the boy seemed to calm down some and find what little courage he had to look up at the adult peacock.

"I promise...I'll make it all up to you", _That's not enough. It will never be enough. You're were a fool and now you think you can mend what has been broken? Pitiful._

Shen looked at his father a moment before hanging his head back down,

"I'm sorry...", he said slightly above a whisper

"No, _I'm _sorry. So very sorry, Shen. I overeacted,and I know it'll take more time than I can give for you to forgive me.", Xin said, shifting his position on the bed. Then he got an idea,

"And also...You're example of Tai La possibly forming an attack was _just _enough to send the trading policy through the roof. Things are a lot better now.", he gave the boy a smile. _If only you had realized it sooner_

Shen dared to let himself smile some, it had worked out? Even if it was an off hand assumtion Shen made, it all turned out for the better? Shen was brought out of his thoughts by his father getting up from their laying position, and standing.

"The Soothsayer is taking you somewhere today, and I have some things that I need to do. But, after all that, I'm going to take you somewhere really special, and I know you'll like it.", he gave an encouraging grin, to which he recieved a curious face and tilt of the head.

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**Okay, sorry I have to end there, I have school todayT.T Anyway, thanks for all the views and REviews:) Remember, reviews makes meh smile realll big like:D**


	5. Friendship Is Key

**Okay, school didn't turn out so great, but at least I get to come back and write this for you guys! btw, the name Yuan means desire, wish, ready, willing, etc. Sorry, if it doesn't fit, I have a lack of inspiration atm:)**

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Xin had been quite right, the Soothsayer had returned later in the morning to take Shen out to meet the other children in the city, when they arrived on a large, green field, covored in laughing and running children, Shen felt his small heart flutter with delight.

"Now", said the Soothsayer, looking down at the peachick, "Why don't you go try and make some new friends?"

Shen's heart twisted at the thought. What if something went wrong? Things always went wrong with him... And to top it off, he was the Prince of Gongmen City! There were so many stereotypes out there, there was no doubt in his mind that he would end up leaving this place the same as he came; Companionless. He felt a small push on his back and looked back to see the Soothsayer giving him an encouraging look.

"Go on, you'll be fine.", she cooed, "I'll be right here until we're ready to leave."

Shen slowly made his way down the hill, careful not to trip over himself. He looked around curiously, looking for just about _anyone, _before he noticed children, one by one stop to stare at him. Shen couldn't help but feel somewhat self-conscious as he looked to the side, feeling heat rise to his feathery cheeks. He took the chance to look back at the Soothsayer, who gave him a kind "go-on" wave, Shen gave her a disgustingly nervous look. He then heard the sound of heavy footsteps on the grass come his way, and quickly turned back around to meet a large snout. Shen made no other movements besides rearing his head back, and then looking up into dark green eyes.

"My my, I can't say I've ever seen _you _here before", the wolf pup circled around him, stopping beside him and eyeing him sternly, though Shen had masterfully avoided the glare. After an agonizingly suspensful moment, the wolf shouted,

"Welcome!", he roared with a toothy smile, clamping a heavy paw on Shens far shoulder and pulling him into a thick, one armed embrace as they began to walk.

"So, what's your name, kid?"

Shen jumped slightly at his tone, a bit demeaning he would say, "Uh...Shen..."He hesitated more, "and...you would..be?"

"Yao. Now, you've never been here before, have you?"

"Um..no..", Shen innwardly winced at the pups tarnished smell, but tried his best not to let it show.

"Thought so. I also suppose you don't know a thing about this place, hm?"

"No?", Shen mentally kicked himself, how foolish of him to make an answer sound like a question.

"Then I suppose I should only tell you the most important thing...", the pup leaned in a little, as to Shen looking up at him strangely.

"Um...alright?", Shen hadn't enough time to prepare himself before he was harshly pushed onto cold, cement. He hadn't notice that during their short conversation, theyhad manged to make it all the way across the field into its shaded area.

"I don't take kindly to newcomers, but _he _does" the large pup sneered at the Prince before the group walked away with him.

"He?", Shen quietly asked to no one. He looked about the dark place he was in. The ground was cemented, as well as a large wall, which he assumed was originally creating the dark shadow. This seemed to be the only place on the field that wasn't natural, as he also had no idea what it was there for. He had his mind set on finding this _he. _He had taken a moment of silence, listening carefully for any noise, when suddenly, a threatening, low growl. He turned sharply, seeing only vibrant, illuminated eyes staring at him, as the creature they belonged to walked on all fours towards. Shen felt his heart slowly rise up in his throat. Seeing the peachick frozen in fear of him, the creature took this chance to pounce on him, knocking them both to the cement, and baring his large teeth at the bird. They stared each down for what seemed like hours.

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**A cliffhanger...I guess? Sorry, if this chap sucked eggs..I had total writers block through the whole thing! Remember, Reviews scare writers block away;)**


	6. The Mess Promises Make

**Sorry, this is kind of a late post. I had a massive depression wave(hint; I have Manic Depression) today, but I'll try to make this chap all it can be. It might even brighten my mood:)**

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After some personal questions and suspicious look, Shen had soon learned that the wolf pups name was Yuan. He was rather small for his age, but was definately a wolf, and never seeing one up close before, Shen was amazed. They were currently telling each other the basics,

"My father has his own market down in the city," Yuan said, "What do your parents do?"

Shen inwardly cringed, the pup had obviously no idea that he was the Prince of Gongmen City.." Uh...run the Province?"

Yuan froze at the responce and handed Shen a questioning gaze. Suddenly, Shen saw a look of both fear and amazement come across the wolfs features and he quickly stood and bowed.

"Your majesty! Please excuse my ignorance!", Yuan said, stuck in the bowing position. He had originally expected to be slapped and punished, especially since he basically _attacked _the young bird. Only when he heard a giggle did he put his head up. Shen covored his beak with the sleeve of his robe as he tried to contain his laughter.

"Just because I'm royalty doesn't mean you have to treat me as such", he said through small giggles, looking at his friend with sincere ruby eyes.

Yuan felt his heart drop a little to his stomach, well _that _was embarrassing... he again, took his seat, taking the time to study the Prince. _White, _Yuan thought. He had never seen something of such purity before, and though it rarely snowed in the city, it was nothing in comparison.

"So then...I guess your father's Lord Xin, right?", the pup asked hesitantly. Shen attempted not to act suprised, but failed some. His eyes widened slightly, and his heart rate quickened.

"Um...yes..he is.."

The two remained quiet after that, both eyeing the ground as if they'd done something terrible. Until, eventually, Shen broke the silence,

"So...what about you mother? What does she do?", he asked

"My mother's dead"

Shen flinched at the response in hurt. _Great, Shen, now look what you've done..._

"I...I'm sorry..", he said shamefully to the pup

"Don't be. It was _your _father who had her executed.", the wolf replied a bit angrily. Shen then felt a spark of fear go up his spine. The pup surely wouldn't hurt him in revenge to his father...would he? Then the pup let out a gruff laugh,

"But, that was _years _ago! I don't worry about very much now..." Shen saw a light click on inside of the dogs head, "Hey, why don't you come over to my house, sometime?"

Shen hesitated, "I...I don't know. My father's very strict about where I go...I don't know if he'd allow me."

"Oh, then maybe we should go ask him, is he around here anywhere?", Yuan caught himself. Of course he wouldn't be there, he was the _Lord_ of Gongmen City, why would he be out without any protection? "Nevermind.."

Shen felt a twitch in his heart, "No, I could still ask. And if he says no, do you think that _your _father will let you come to the Palace instead?"

The pup let out a chuckle, "I don't know whether he'd be excited or suspicious!"

"Shen!", Shen looked over to the other side of the field, where the Soothsayer was busy looking around for him.

"Oh, I'd better go. I'll remember to ask my father if you remember to ask yours.", he said, getting up from the pavement.

"Don't worry, I could never forget. Would it be okay if we met again near my dad's market, he doesn't like me going far.", the wold said

"Um...sure, I guess I could manage something. What's the name of your fathers market?"

"Satin Avenue. It's not too far from here, but _anyone _can get lost in a city this big" he replied with a smirk.

"Shen!", yelled the Soothsayer again

"I'm coming!", Shen gave the pup a nod in farewell, "I'll be there"

"Promise?"

"Promise", the pup smiled and gave a respective bow, and Shen couldn't help but laugh at how funny he looked when he did that.

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**Okay...here it is...As you could probably tell, I'm not very pleased with how it turned out...This will probably be the only chapter for tonight. Sorry. Review if you want**


	7. Mommy, Father Scares Me

**Yay! My depression episode passed this morning and IM READY TO GO! Yesterday's chap kind of disppointed me, but it seemed like you guys liked it, so I'll keep it:D**

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Shen smiled to himself as he ran through the halls of the Palace, searching excitedly for his father. He had finally made a friend, a potentially _real _one. While running at his full speed, Shen looked over his shoulder only to slam into something soft seconds later. He landed on the floor with a faint _thud_, rubbing the top of his head, he slowly looked up to look at the royal blue peacock gazing down at him in confusion.

"What are you doing, running around like a lunatic?", he asked the staring chick

"Um...", Shen turned his head sideays and to the ground, "I was...looking for...you..", he looked up nervously

Xin couldn't supress a suprised jump. _He had been looking for me? _Xins heart lifted in happiness and he leaned down quickly to capture the chick in his large wings and bring bring him closer, he felt the slightest shake in doing so. As for Shen, he had been completely taken off guard and contemplated an escape. Just because things between them had changed, didn't mean it was for the better. Just because Xin had apologized to him this morning, didn't make everything suddenly okay. Shen held his breath, thinking fast about his options, but in the end decided to stay, even if he risked getting hurt again. Xin had suddenly moved so that his feathery forehead touched with Shens, looking him in the eye.

"I..uh...Have some bad news...", Xin then wished he hadn't promised the child a trip that morning.

"I know, we can't go today", Xin stared wide eyed at the peachick. _How did he...?_

"Mommy told me", he explained, "She said you were real busy today.."

"Uh...yes..quite, but, I don't want you to completely forget about that plan, okay?"

"O..kay...But, can I...can I ask you something?", Xin looked at the boy, confused as he walked slowly to the door and opened it, letting in a rather small, dirty wolf pup. Xin stared at the pup, then switched his gaze back to his son,

"Um...father, this is Yuan...a..a friend I made earlier..", the chick said

"What? _This _is the 'friend' you told me about?", Xin short temper let off, nearly raging

"Well, yes! I..uh.._we, _were wondering if you would accept Yuan coming to the Palace to see me sometime.."

"NO! Why would you even _think _I would agree?!", Xin stepped forward toward the two, "Shen, come here!"

Shen felt himself pale, though no one but him could tell, as he left from the door to in front of his father, and his fear only grew as a great wing came to his side, pushing him some as his father came to stand in front of him, facing the wolf.

"Now, listen to _me_, I don't care what Shen has told you, you will _never _come here again, and, you will never come near my _son _again! Now, _get. Out!_", Xin raged, Shen staring from behind him at Yuan in horror. A look of hurt, anger, and confusion wahsed across the puppys face, and he suddenly turned and bolted out into the now raining, outdoors. Shen made a strangled noise and ran past his father, only stopping when a strong talon grasped his wing, harshly pulling him back, Shen winced at the pain of his now bleeding wing, and wrenched it out of his fathers grasp, causing them to leave long, bleeding scratches from shoulder to feather tip, following fast after Yuan.

* * *

Shen had run out into the pouring cold rain, yelling frantically in search of his friend, to which he failed to find. The rain had made it incredibly foggy, and he had managed to get himself lost deep in the bowels of the city. Fear began to set in and he made his way to a large, well shaded tree. Now soaked to the bone. A strong will rushed passed the Prince, causing him to shiver and pull his dripping robe tighter around himself, wetting him more. Suddenly, he felt a sharp pang of pain in the dead center of his chest, and began coughing uncontrollably, each cough making it harder and harder to breath.

His vision captured a large figure walking calmly toward him. He squinted and began to fall to the ground until a soft, gentle wing came to his rescue, bring him back up and against a body smelling of both flowers and rain water. Shen looked up to see his mothers kind, but worried eyes on him. Her purple and blue feather dirty and dripping, and her robe covored in soggy mud in which it had been dragged. Unfortunately, he only got a few moment to look at her before falling completely and utterly unconscious.

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**YAYAYAYAY! I loved writing this one too! Btw, have any of you guys ever eaten sprinkles? They're the freakin greatest thing ever! Next to , of course;) Read and Review! Sorry, if there are any spelling or punctuation mistakes!**


	8. What's Harder

**Yes, this is a multi chap night.**

* * *

Shen groaned as he slowly opened his eyes, feeling cool, clean and _dry _surface under him, to realize moments later that he was lying in a neatly made bed, his soaked clothing gone from his body and replaced with one of his mothers beautiful, but oversized ones, and his feathers towel dried, seeing as how they were messy and fluffy. In a daze, Shen didn't seem to notice the Soothsayer in the room, kneeling on the floor in front of her bowl. The Soothsayer heard a groan of discomfort, and looked up, she was most definetely _not _happy.

"Shen", she said firmly, marching next to him on the bed, tearing the sheets down and grasping his right wing. She grabbed the robe sleeve and shoved it downward just enough to reveal the bandage she had placed.

"What is this?", in one swift move, she wrenched the bandage off and let it fall to the floor. Shen, wide awake now, looked at the Soothsayer and tried to look as if he'd never seen the wound before,

"I..I don't know..."

"_Don't lie to me, Shen!"_, she yelled, which was rare for her, always being so kind and all. She squeezed the wing tighter, then loosened her grip.

"Where did you get this burn?", she demanded intimidatingly. The Soothsayer, of course, already knew where it came from, or rather _who _it came from. But, she wanted to see if Shen would tell her if she hadn't.

"...I...I..", after being silent a moment, Shen broke down in heavy tears, and eventually puddled and seeped into the blankets below him. The Soothsayer had wanted to make a point, originally, but seeing her chick in this stae make her heart turn to jello and she let go of him, instead pulling him to her and gently scratching his head reassuringly as he cried into her shoulder. Why did everything _have _to be so hard? He had lost his fathers love, if he ever had it in the first place. He had lost his only friend, whom he was sure would never want to speak to him again. _And _he had lost all of his self-respect. He was pitiful...no wonder his parents didn't love him...

After a few minutes, the Soothsayer shred him off of her and leaned down into her bowl, its liquid contents a foggy white, she pulled out a rag and silently applied it to the burn, to which Shen recoiled instantly, looking at her as if she'd slapped him, and it killed her.

"We have to clean it up, it's infected", she explained

"W-why didn't you clean while I was unconscious?", he asked through upset hiccups

"You still would have felt it, now come here", she said kindly, "It'll only take a minute. Then, we can wrap it back up and you can sleep."

The subject of more sleep sounded very good to Shens current fatigue, and he brought his right wing back over to her, holding his breath and biting down hard as he prepared himself for it. After many sharp cries and whimpers, Shen kicked himself as the Soothsayer gathered her supplies. How could he have left it unattended for so long? He just seemed to make _everything _worse, didn't he? His burn was wrapped in a crisp, clean bandage, and he had to say, it felt a _lot _better than before. The Soothsayer had wished him a good night, to which he returned. As soon as the Soothsayer had closed the door, she began walking furiously toward the throne room.

* * *

Xin was out onto the throne rooms balcony as he heard the door slam open and saw the Soothsayer make her way to him.

"Ah, Soothsayer, I presume that Shen is-"

"Not another word, _my Lord_", she hissed

Xins eyebrows raised at her tone,

"Is that _really _any way to greet your Lord, Soothsayer?"

"That's just it, Xin. You are _not _my Lord, for I do not _live _in Gongmen City."

"As long as you are here, I am."

The Soothsayer let her scowl show, before calming,

"I was looking Shen over this evening, checking for any wounds and such...", she began

"Yes, and?"

"I only found _one_", she looked at him with hate and disgust as Xin blew it off like it was nothing.

"Oh, _that."_

"Yes, that! Does your boy really mean that little to you, Xin?! You've been absent through his whole life, then you go and _brand _him at his third? Have you _no _shame or regret!?" she raged

"That boy needs to learn his place, Soothsayer. And, he has. For if I _ever _seat him beside me again, he will do as I say and nothing more."

"Where is all of this coming from, Xin? After all of your apologies and promises to make it up to him, you just let it go? How dare you."

"No, how dare _you!_ How _dare _you interfere with my child, I hired you too look after him, not to get involved with his issues."

"It doesn't matter to me what I'm here for, I'm not obliged to love Shen, but I do anyway."

"And why is that, Soothsayer?"

"Because you never have.", she finished with a victorious tone.

Xin narrowed his eyes at the Soothsayer and sighed

"It doesn't matter what you say, anyway. I will raise my child as I please and I will _treat _my child as I please."

"Even if it kills him one day?"

Xin was silent a moment in thought

"Yes.", he finally said, "I have a Province to run, and I do not have time to run around in circles with the boy. The only reason he is even _alive _is because an heir is needed. I did not have a child because I wanted one, and I promise you, Soothsayer, if he was not my only heir, I would have drowned him."

The Soothersayer stood wide eyes and open mouthed at Xin. How could he have really meant all of this? His only child really meant _nothing _to him? She was about to reply when they both heard a sharp _clank_ from the crack in the door, and the Soothsayer felt her heart rip in two when she saw none other than Shen in the way. His features contored in shock when she saw another figure step into the room. Lady Mei.

* * *

**Okie Dokie, here it is. R&R makes meh heart happy! Hope you guys liked it:)**


	9. Mother Knows Best

**Yay for my reviews! Thanks to all the PEOPLE who've reviewed, I owe you guys chaptersX)**

* * *

Mei felt a fierce fire in herself like never before and for once, she let it show in her expression. Her face contorted in extreme anger and she felt her beak grind. How dare he? Mei knew deep in herself that there was a great dislike between Shen and Xin, but this was far over the edge, she nearly screamed when she spoke.

"What?" her words bitter and laced with venom, "What is all of this?"

"There's nothing going on here that should concern you, Mei. The Soothsayer was _just _leaving", Xin turned his eyes on the Soothsayer

"She won't be going _anywhere, _Xin", Mei unknowingly glared in the Soothsayers direction, "Soothsayer, please take Shen back to _our _bedroom..."

The Soothsayer knew full well what was going to occur when they left, quickly running toward the chick and shooing him out along with herself, closing the door tight behind her.

For the next half hour or so, the Soothsayer had heard nothing but strong yells and scream, along with bangs and shatters, which she guessed was mostly her Lady throwing various items, and a few murderous threats that went back and forth. Shen and the Soothsayer had remained silent through the event in the other room. The Soothsayer had never heard such a vicious fight in all her years between them. The noise ceased and suddenly the door swung open, hitting the wall loudly. The Soothsayers instincts kicked in and she brought Shen closer to herself in an attempt to protect, then loosening her hooves as Mei waltzed in. Coming to sit heavily on the bed and leaving her two "guests" staring at her. Mei turned her head to her son, and brought a wing up to pet the top of his head, and then looking at the Soothsayer.

She sighed tiredly, "I don't know what I'm going to do, Soothsayer. This cannot go on...", she looked at the ground in shame

The Soothsayer wanted so much to give her Lady words of comfort, but she could think of nothing that would help. It was all true, everything had turned out so horribly. It brought both Mei and the Soothsayer great pain to admit, but they knew that Shen was to blame for it. His birth had made everyting that much harder for them; It had strained Mei and Xins relationship, worry the Soothsayer more then she could wish whenever he became ill, and the choices he made, which any 3 year old would, brought him more pain than any. The Soothsayer didn't have enough heart to tell Mei that now, being out in the rian earlier, Shen had a fever as he rested against her.

* * *

Morning came bright, but the mood in the Palace was still dark. No light shown into the Lord and Ladys room, since there were no windows present. There was a soft, but noticable _knock _at the front doors of the Palace, to which Mei, always seeming to get up before everyone else, answered. Revealing a dirty wolf pup staring down at his feet.

"Um...hello?", Mei offered, the wolf looked up at her and was relieved not to see his first encounter.

"Um...I'm one of Shens...friends..?", he was hesistant with her for good reason.

"Oh? Well, would you like to come in?", she handed him akind smile.

Yuan seemed shocked. Why was she being so nice to him? The woman to who he assumed as Shens mother was completely different than what he had pictured. She was beautiful and kind, she smiled like an angel and reminded him most of his own mother. He charmed her with a smile as he walked slowly in. The first thing his eyes caught was the ceiling above, guess the sky _really is _the limit.

"Shen is a little under the weather, so I'm afriad you won't be able to stay for very long.", Mei led him to her bedroom and opened it,

"Have fun", she said before walking away, calmly.

Yuan eyed the room suspiciously before takinga single step inside,, looking over to the bed where a small figure lay. Shen heard the door open, but did not turn his head toward the sound until he heard soft footsteps coming nearer. He was suprised to see Yuan standing there.

"Yuan? What..what are you doing here?" he asked weakly

"Well, I uh...came to see you. Sorry...I left in a hurry yesterday..." Yuan kicked himself for being bad at apologies

"That's okay, it was kind of appropriate..", Shen considerately coughed into his sleeve

"So...how _did _you get sick?"

Shen looked at him weakly, "Well, I went after you yesterday, remember?

Yuan felt a pang of guilt. Yes, he remembered. He remembered the little bird calling out his name, running after him in the pouring rain. It was his fault...if he hadn't bolted out like he did, Shen wouldn't have followed him...

"Okay then...well...I guess I should leave you alone then, huh?", the wolf asked shyly

Shen shook his, and slowly sat up, "No, you're fine, I was thinking about getting up anyway" he gave him a smile

Yuan then took the time to look around the room. It was quite fancy, since being the Lord and Ladys room, his eyes knew no bounds as they scanned around until they suddenly rested upon a box of paint. He turned his gaze back onto his friend, who was sitting up and looking at him oddly. Yuan let a sly smile slide across his lips.

"Say, Shen...Do you like to paint?", he asked

"Um...I suppose...Why?", the Prince would find out soon enough.

* * *

**Okay, here is the next chap. I don't think I'll update again, this is the last chap! Lol, no I'm just kidding, I'll update it again tonight, thank you to ALL of the reviews! More are welcome:)**


	10. The Words Father Speaks

**Okay, here another chap.**

* * *

Yuan and Shen both sat on the smooth, sparkling floors. Drops of multicolored paint stained the granite tiles, moving up onto the two laughing children. Yuan had a good few image changing paint strokes upon him, along with various shapes along his body. Shen had to admit, he was no artist, but fortunately, Yuan was. He looked himself over and was amazed to see that he had all of the color a regualer peacock would have. Yuan had made him a royal blue, much like Xin, only with streaks of brilliant Red and Green along his wings and neck, contrasting with his Ruby eyes. He almost hugged Yuan in excitement, but instead they stared at each other, before laughing loudly at the moments awkwardness, but stopping to look oddly at the door as it slammed open, revealing an annoyed Xin. Shen felt his heart drop at the sight, what were they going to do now? How could they escape? Xin would certainly put Yuan to death for seemingly breaking into the Palace, then do something terrible to _him._

"What. Is going. On in here!", Xin yelled at the two, causing them to shrink back, he pointed at Yuan

"Who do you _think _you are, coming into this house again!", he took an step forward, "And you!", he points to Shen

"After everything I've done for you, you _allow _him to stay? I have half a mind to-"

"Actually...", Mei said calmly as she walked in, "_I _told him he could stay."

"What? Why?"

"Because he's Shens friend. Don't _you _think that he deserves some time with that friend?", she questioned

"He doesn't _deserve _anything-"

"He deserves everything."

Xin was silent for a time, then his wife spoke again,

"I need to speak with you.", she said, walking passed him and he followed her into the hallways, closing the door.

"This needs to stop, Xin", Mei said, turning back around to face him.

"What?"

"This isn't you, you've never acted like this before, so why _now_?",

Xin narrowed his eyes at her, but she could see fully the reasons _why_. She saw it in his eyes. He was disguising his love with hate, denying the fact that he cared about Shen at all. He didn't _want _the pain of seeing him grow and eventually take the thrown, and having _his own _family. He thought that maybe if he pretended to hate the boy, it would eventually become real and there would be no problem. But, that didn't happen, nothing _ever _went as planned with their family. Every day he had wanted to go into Shens room and stay with him until morning, whispering sweet words and giving tender moments. But, now everything was ruined. _Everything._ All because of _him._ He had told the Soothsayer everything he wanted to believe, and in that way, he shattered his relationship with his son, to never again be replenished. Shen would bear no forgiveness, or love. He could do nothing to make anything better at this point, and he felt himself better off alone.

"I know how you really feel, Xin. This charade will stop here and you will give your son everything he needs in return for his love.", Mei brought a wing to his face.

"And right now, everything he needs is a father...", she finished, turning slowly back to the door, her eyes on him and telling him to follow her.

The boys had remained in their places and were looking at them nervously when the peacocks waltzed in. The room was almost unbearable, and Xin thought slightly about walking back out when he caught his wifes gaze, and she shifted it from him to Shen, nodding her head with her eyes. He apparently got the message as he strode over and sat down next to Shen, though the boy turned head to the other side and studied the ground, and snapping a few glances toward Yuan. Yuan had also trained his vision anywhere but at the blue bird, and Xin couldn't help but feel horrible. He noticed the paint that currently covored the visable part of his sons body, then taking the small, colorful wing in his and wiping away the paint to reveal snowy feathers

"I prefer _this _color better.", he said, and Shen was now staring at him in disbelief. Xin turned his eyes on Yuan, who quickly looked away as if embarrassed.

"And, Yuan...", the wolf looked up nervously, "You may come back to the Palace anytime Shen invites you, if you so wish.", Xin gave him a slight bow of the neck while keeping his eyes on him. Both boys jumped and looked suprised at the peafowl, before looking at each other and smiling wide.

* * *

**Okay, heres teh chap. And If anyone is confused by then NEXT chapter, it takes place years later when Shen arrives back at the Palace after the panda genocide, so that should be fun! Read and Review Pweaze!**


	11. Apples Turn Rotten

**Yay next chap! But NOOO! This really IS the last one! I hope you guys enjoyed reading it as much as I enjoyed writing it!**

* * *

Where was he? It was so late, and he was still missing! Xin paced heavily throughout the Palace, asking every staff member he came across if they'd seen him, to which a no was always answered. Shen had become a rebellious soul through his teenage years and didn't listen to _anyone _into adulthood

"My Lord, _please, _I have a great feeling that he will return on his own. He is quite safe", the Soothsayer said

"Oh, and how do you _know_ that?", Xin tried not to yell

"Well, I'm a Soothsayer, my Lord. Whatever I speak is the truth sometime down the road, I am never wrong."

Xin was silent then. It was true, everything she predicted happened _somewhere _in time, which is why he hired her all those years ago. But, this didn't calm his worry, and he began to pace again, mumbling to himself, wife watching him oddly when the main doors slid open, and Mei got up from her seat. Shen, bloody lance in hand, looked more elated then he had in years. But at _what?_ His parents thought. The blood from the lance slid from it and onto Shens feather, staining them pink, before drops met the floor. His father looked at him fearfully before speaking,

"Sh-Shen...What..what have you done?", he asked

"The panda's, father", Xin was smart enough to know what he meant, and his expression turned blank

Shen then turned toward the Soothsayer, "It seems that your _warrior _will not be coming home today", her face turned pale

"What? Please, Shen, please tell me you _didn't_", Mei walked up to him to look him in the eye, and his silence was all the confirmation she needed before she felt tears in her eyes. Shens face remained emotionless as he watched her. They weren't happy? At all? He had made himself into a stronger person and they felt nothing but displeasure? Suddenly, Xins expression becaome that of anger and he bolted forward to grab Shens wing and force out him of the room. Leaving the girl to themselves.

Xin dragged Shen into the hallway and gave him a cold slap to the face, making the albinos head snap to the side, and a small bit of blood run down his cheek, but his face remained blank.

"What is wrong with you!", he gave another feirce hit to the other side, "What did you think you were doing!"

Xin rose his wing again, but this time Shen caught it before it made its mark, and the Prince looked at him sadistically, giving him a smile

"There's nothing wrong with me, father. But, my question is what's wrong with _you?", _he let the wing drop, "I've just changed Fate.", and with that, he walked passed him without another glance, that sick smile still present on his face.

* * *

Xin had returned to the room to see a stunned Mei and Soothsayer.

"You knew, didn't you?", he asked the Soothsayer calmly. She gave him a sad look,

"Yes."

"Why didn't you say anything? We could have stopped it."

The Soothsayer shook her head,

"No, my Lord, you would not have gotten there in time. The panda village is miles from this place.", she looked up at him, tears starting to brim,

"You cannot change Fate by a single act."

Xin paused before saying,

"Shen managed", he walked out of the room with a slam of the door.

* * *

Xin and Mei stood at the front of the Palace, a look of bitter sadness upon their faces as they looked at Shen and the dozens of wolves at his back. The Lord and Lady had talked through the night and had come to the decision they hoped to avoid; Banishment. Mei looked at her husband with pleading eyes, _Please, _they said, _Don't do this. _Xin wished he didn't have to. He then hardened his heart and said,

"Shen. What you have done is punishable by death. But, you being our only son, you will instead be banished from Gongmen City for the remainder of your days.", he looked at Shen with false hate.

"Go"

Shen did not waver, and instead stood there calmly, then turning his head to an adult Yuan and motioning him to lead the army away. Which he did. As they left, Shen focused on his parents again, saying,

"Do not think that you've won. You will not keep me out of my own City.", he whiped back around and followed behind the wolves. Mei hung her head as she watched him go, she know understood how real pain felt. She did not hide her tears as she lifted her head to stare a his back for the last time, the beautiful morning sun rays, which always brought her such happiness, left her with nothing.

* * *

"It was not until four days ago that Shen returned to Gongmen City, as he promised.", the Soothsayer looked at the panda in front of her. He listened to her story and seemed to understand all of the Shens reasoning in the past. How could someone live such a horrible life and _not _become emotionally detached and cold? Po knew that he should hate the peacock for everything he's done, but, being himself, he couldn't bring himself to. It wasn't his nature, which is why the Soothsayer saved him in the first place. He needed to fulfill his so called "desitiny" and defeat Shen. After learning the truth about his village, he wanted the Soothsayer to tell him everything about Shen, which she did.

"I was such a fool...", she bashed herself, "I realized only years ago that the night I gave Shen the Soothsaying as an infant...What I saw...was the darkness slowly growing within him. I had known it existed, and I did _nothing _to stop it when I had the chance. Now it has consumed him and I cannot fix it.", she stared into the fire,

"It is my own fault Shen has become this, and now I ask _you _to end it"

Po felt suddenly nervous. He remembered all too well the look in Shens eyes as he lit the canon that shot him into the river. Murderous, he would say. But, he could not deny his destiny and he felt it the most important thing. But, what was he to do? There was no possible way he would arrive in time to stop Shen or his army. He felt hopeless. His friends would die, and China would be under a strict Monarchy, maybe even a Dictatorship. But, he promised he would try. He had to.

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**Noo! I feel kind of bad that this is the last chap. But, it is. I really hope you guys liked it! R&R. OH, THE MEMORIES!T.T**


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